Surprise! I'm back!

I am pretty sure no one stops by here anymore, it's been forever since I have posted but I thought that I would post a little about what's up in my life. David and I have pretty much found a medium that works out okay. Were not avoiding each other and we can hold an actual conversation for the most part. I am still a bad mom half the time but what can ya do? The kids are enjoying school. I am enjoying staying home, even if it does make me a little crazy.. that's about to run out though because I am probably going back to work soon. Life has been a little difficult lately but that's no big surprise. It seams like it's still just one thing after another but if I've dealt this long I can deal a little longer. My son is doing pretty well, he is loving Evans Middle and I didn't expect that. His blood sugars have been great and I was worried that they wouldn't. Because of a major mistake on the states part his insurace was cancelled. yay. After much hell that I had to go through it's back on now so that's a plus. Anyway, that's about it. If any of my peeps read this just know that I miss you and I still love you all.

I'm out.

Did I say tomorrow?

Okay, so I didn't mean like, the day after the day that I posted. I meant today. We found out what is going on with David for the most part. He is having a specific type of migraines that he has unfortunately inherited from me. ‘Gee thanks mom’ They are really bad migraines and have been associated with tumors. Which he does not have. He hasn’t had one recently and that’s a good thing but I am sick to death of doctors offices. He gets a water cast next week so that’s good. He is pretty excited about this. I am just glad he can take a shower without a plastic bag being involved. His blood sugar has been doing really good the last two weeks. He is as tired as I am, and probably more so, of having doctors appointments almost every day. Looks like we are finally getting to the end of that though. I am glad because it was wearing us down. His arm is healing nicely so now he is ready to enjoy his summer. Now, I have to admit that I don’t miss work. I miss some of the people. Not the job though. I haven’t gotten to talk to most of you so those of you that visit this site just know that I miss you and I hope to talk to you soon. I have to go catch up on blogs now so that I will know what’s going on in some of my peeps lives. I can’t tell you guys how much I miss the morning conversations. That was easily the best part of working there. The rest of the day was always spent waiting for the day to end. Now I am going to spend some time doing things for myself. It took this whole week to get my house cleaned the way I wanted it, and the walls in the basement are almost finished.. That’s great. Anyway hope you guys had a wonderful Friday and hopefully I will post again soon.

Did ya miss me?

I know it has been a minute (one of the new kind of minutes) since I have posted. I wanted to drop by and let anyone who is still bored enough to stop by know that I am still alive. My life has been quite an adventure lately. My son has had a few issues lately. He has some weird stuff going on with his brain. He is having episodes where he will wake up in the morning and not be able to use his right side. It's really difficult to deal with but I am managing. I no longer work at that place where we all worked.. I think I am not supposed to say it on here.. wait, I don't work there any more, what are they going to do, fire me? So anyway, I don't work there anymore but those of you who I was actually friends with, just know that I love you and I will keep in touch. Those of you who I wasn't actually friends with.. it's great not to have to deal with you on a daily basis.. For my stalker.. tell me what the fuck I am doing now.. ANYWAY.. some things you are just better off without.. I have to go be mom for a bit now but I will come back tomorrow and post a for real post.

I'm Out.

Brandy's 'Office Moron' Profile

Here you go, chica...forgive me for posting to your blog, but I just had to do it. :) You know we love you, right?


Which Office Moron Are You?
Rum and Monkey: jamming your photocopier one tray at a time.

Stop crying, little one. You're the disarmingly young temp.

You had to get some kind of job when you left school, and nobody's willing to pick up a fresh-faced graduate and give them an amazing job. Not unless they're some kind of genius, anyway, and even then it's unlikely because geniuses make people uneasy. Clever people do not fit in offices.

So you're a temp. Working from short contract to short contract, dodging your officemates' condascending glances, you hope one day to have a real job. Until then, the fact that you look about twelve makes you an easy target both for tea-making duties and the perverted old boss.

Does Divorce breed Divorce?

The thing is several of my coworkers and friends are going through divorces. Some recent, some not so much so. Most of them are happy about this at this point. Last night my husband and I decided to fight. Okay, so he decided, I didn't get much of a choice. Don't get me wrong, I knew it was coming, we have been fighting allot lately so I knew the time was near. The thing is (hey stalker, you'll love this) he decided to tell me what a horrible person I was, what a bad mother I am, and all around how worthless I am, not to mention who in their right mind would date a woman with four kids.. Yeah, that made me feel pretty good about myself. Today he says he was just mad and he didn't mean any of it but I just don't want to hear it at this point. I left. I went to a friends house and we talked. It has been a while since we have really talked but very little has changed, so it was easy. I guess it just added to my feeling of being confused though because some has changed. I will just have to deal with that. I am feeling rather confused today and trying to figure out the next step in my life. The thing is, I like being married. I like having a home with my family. I hate being miserable. Right now I am miserable. For a long time I have been miserable. I am tired of fighting. I don't even hurt anymore. I don't really feel much of anything when we fight. It's not fair to me, nor to him. I think it's the same for him. He feels anger quite well but anything else is beyond him. I understand that so I am not blaming him for it but it doesn't help any. So, after I left he called several times and left me voice mails. It sounded like two different people. Some of them were nice. Some of them were demeaning. Then this morning he tells me that he doesn't want to lose me. The thing is, he lost me a long time ago. I don't even really know him anymore. I don't want to start over. I know that I am not an ugly girl so I know I could get a date.. someone who would want to sleep with me.. but he's right, who would want to be with someone with four kids, I wouldn't. Anyway, someone said something to me yesterday and I have thought about it allot. They said, 'You are not alone. There are plenty of us here who care about you and will be here for you. You don't have to go through anything alone anymore.' Now, the thing is that I am the kind of person who keeps everything to themselves for as long as they can possibly hold it inside. It isn't because I don't think people care about me, it's because there is always someone out there who has it worse than me, there is always other things going on in people's lives. I don't want to burden them with my petty issues. The issues go away. It just takes time. This is the place where I come to complain. In my everyday life those of you who know me know that I would rather listen to someone else's problems then complain about my own.. and this person I love more than I could ever explain to her.. and I want her to know that her words meant allot to me, and just because I keep things inside doesn't mean that I don't love or appreciate her, or the other people I have close to me. She don't realize how sometimes she makes my day better with a smile or a kind word. Sometimes she just pats me on my back and as silly as it is it makes me feel better. I just close myself off from time to time.. and trust me, it's better that way. Lately (the last couple of days anyway) I have felt really alone.. and I know it's because I pushed everyone away.. I don't think I mean to, it just happens.. Just know that I love you all and you mean the world to me. I promise if something is going on with me eventually I will tell you about it. If I need someone I know you are there. There are a few of you that I know I could turn to, and if the time comes and I need to, I promise I will. Okay, I am done for now, I have to go decide what I am doing tonight. I'm Out.

By the way, I may have been a crybaby for the past three days but I HAVE posted!