Mystix Manor

Surprise! I'm back!

2005-08-17T14:00:00.000-05:00

I am pretty sure no one stops by here anymore, it's been forever since I have posted but I thought that I would post a little about what's up in my life. David and I have pretty much found a medium that works out okay. Were not avoiding each other and we can hold an actual conversation for the most part. I am still a bad mom half the time but what can ya do? The kids are enjoying school. I am enjoying staying home, even if it does make me a little crazy.. that's about to run out though because I am probably going back to work soon. Life has been a little difficult lately but that's no big surprise. It seams like it's still just one thing after another but if I've dealt this long I can deal a little longer. My son is doing pretty well, he is loving Evans Middle and I didn't expect that. His blood sugars have been great and I was worried that they wouldn't. Because of a major mistake on the states part his insurace was cancelled. yay. After much hell that I had to go through it's back on now so that's a plus. Anyway, that's about it. If any of my peeps read this just know that I miss you and I still love you all.

I'm out.

Did I say tomorrow?

2005-06-03T10:49:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I didn't mean like, the day after the day that I posted. I meant today. We found out what is going on with David for the most part. He is having a specific type of migraines that he has unfortunately inherited from me. ‘Gee thanks mom’ They are really bad migraines and have been associated with tumors. Which he does not have. He hasn’t had one recently and that’s a good thing but I am sick to death of doctors offices. He gets a water cast next week so that’s good. He is pretty excited about this. I am just glad he can take a shower without a plastic bag being involved. His blood sugar has been doing really good the last two weeks. He is as tired as I am, and probably more so, of having doctors appointments almost every day. Looks like we are finally getting to the end of that though. I am glad because it was wearing us down. His arm is healing nicely so now he is ready to enjoy his summer. Now, I have to admit that I don’t miss work. I miss some of the people. Not the job though. I haven’t gotten to talk to most of you so those of you that visit this site just know that I miss you and I hope to talk to you soon. I have to go catch up on blogs now so that I will know what’s going on in some of my peeps lives. I can’t tell you guys how much I miss the morning conversations. That was easily the best part of working there. The rest of the day was always spent waiting for the day to end. Now I am going to spend some time doing things for myself. It took this whole week to get my house cleaned the way I wanted it, and the walls in the basement are almost finished.. That’s great. Anyway hope you guys had a wonderful Friday and hopefully I will post again soon.

Did ya miss me?

2005-05-23T14:16:00.000-05:00

I know it has been a minute (one of the new kind of minutes) since I have posted. I wanted to drop by and let anyone who is still bored enough to stop by know that I am still alive. My life has been quite an adventure lately. My son has had a few issues lately. He has some weird stuff going on with his brain. He is having episodes where he will wake up in the morning and not be able to use his right side. It's really difficult to deal with but I am managing. I no longer work at that place where we all worked.. I think I am not supposed to say it on here.. wait, I don't work there any more, what are they going to do, fire me? So anyway, I don't work there anymore but those of you who I was actually friends with, just know that I love you and I will keep in touch. Those of you who I wasn't actually friends with.. it's great not to have to deal with you on a daily basis.. For my stalker.. tell me what the fuck I am doing now.. ANYWAY.. some things you are just better off without.. I have to go be mom for a bit now but I will come back tomorrow and post a for real post.

I'm Out.

Brandy's 'Office Moron' Profile

2005-03-25T23:37:00.000-05:00

Here you go, chica...forgive me for posting to your blog, but I just had to do it. :) You know we love you, right?

Which Office Moron Are You?
Rum and Monkey: jamming your photocopier one tray at a time.

Stop crying, little one. You're the disarmingly young temp.

You had to get some kind of job when you left school, and nobody's willing to pick up a fresh-faced graduate and give them an amazing job. Not unless they're some kind of genius, anyway, and even then it's unlikely because geniuses make people uneasy. Clever people do not fit in offices.

So you're a temp. Working from short contract to short contract, dodging your officemates' condascending glances, you hope one day to have a real job. Until then, the fact that you look about twelve makes you an easy target both for tea-making duties and the perverted old boss.

Does Divorce breed Divorce?

2005-03-24T16:12:00.000-05:00

The thing is several of my coworkers and friends are going through divorces. Some recent, some not so much so. Most of them are happy about this at this point. Last night my husband and I decided to fight. Okay, so he decided, I didn't get much of a choice. Don't get me wrong, I knew it was coming, we have been fighting allot lately so I knew the time was near. The thing is (hey stalker, you'll love this) he decided to tell me what a horrible person I was, what a bad mother I am, and all around how worthless I am, not to mention who in their right mind would date a woman with four kids.. Yeah, that made me feel pretty good about myself. Today he says he was just mad and he didn't mean any of it but I just don't want to hear it at this point. I left. I went to a friends house and we talked. It has been a while since we have really talked but very little has changed, so it was easy. I guess it just added to my feeling of being confused though because some has changed. I will just have to deal with that. I am feeling rather confused today and trying to figure out the next step in my life. The thing is, I like being married. I like having a home with my family. I hate being miserable. Right now I am miserable. For a long time I have been miserable. I am tired of fighting. I don't even hurt anymore. I don't really feel much of anything when we fight. It's not fair to me, nor to him. I think it's the same for him. He feels anger quite well but anything else is beyond him. I understand that so I am not blaming him for it but it doesn't help any. So, after I left he called several times and left me voice mails. It sounded like two different people. Some of them were nice. Some of them were demeaning. Then this morning he tells me that he doesn't want to lose me. The thing is, he lost me a long time ago. I don't even really know him anymore. I don't want to start over. I know that I am not an ugly girl so I know I could get a date.. someone who would want to sleep with me.. but he's right, who would want to be with someone with four kids, I wouldn't. Anyway, someone said something to me yesterday and I have thought about it allot. They said, 'You are not alone. There are plenty of us here who care about you and will be here for you. You don't have to go through anything alone anymore.' Now, the thing is that I am the kind of person who keeps everything to themselves for as long as they can possibly hold it inside. It isn't because I don't think people care about me, it's because there is always someone out there who has it worse than me, there is always other things going on in people's lives. I don't want to burden them with my petty issues. The issues go away. It just takes time. This is the place where I come to complain. In my everyday life those of you who know me know that I would rather listen to someone else's problems then complain about my own.. and this person I love more than I could ever explain to her.. and I want her to know that her words meant allot to me, and just because I keep things inside doesn't mean that I don't love or appreciate her, or the other people I have close to me. She don't realize how sometimes she makes my day better with a smile or a kind word. Sometimes she just pats me on my back and as silly as it is it makes me feel better. I just close myself off from time to time.. and trust me, it's better that way. Lately (the last couple of days anyway) I have felt really alone.. and I know it's because I pushed everyone away.. I don't think I mean to, it just happens.. Just know that I love you all and you mean the world to me. I promise if something is going on with me eventually I will tell you about it. If I need someone I know you are there. There are a few of you that I know I could turn to, and if the time comes and I need to, I promise I will. Okay, I am done for now, I have to go decide what I am doing tonight. I'm Out.

By the way, I may have been a crybaby for the past three days but I HAVE posted!

It's the middle of the week

2005-03-23T16:12:00.000-05:00

Thank God. I have been bitching for my last few posts so what's one more right?

I had to go pick my son up yesterday and again today. His blood sugar was low.. yes I said low.. the last three weeks it has been high every single day.. now it is going low.. this pisses me off.. he has been a diabetic for two years in June.. so let me ask, what the fuck is the problem????? Is it really that difficult.. and the bitch of it is that I can not change anything because I am not a doctor.. his doctor must make any and all adjustments and if I make any then I could be reported to DFACS for child NEGLECT!!! What in the fuck?? If I were to make changes then it would be because I pay enough attention to the child to know what adjustments need to be made to get his blood sugar right.. no I am not a doctor.. BUT I know that right now his problem is that his night time insulin (the long lasting insulin he takes at night) is not lasting him from night to night.. so what I would do is give him one shot before bed and one around four in the afternoon.. this would solve that problem.. they are trying to get him down to one lantis shot a day.. that's great and all except for it's killing his body.. what is one more shot when you already take six a day???? The good thing about this is that when his blood sugar went high he had a really smart mouth (those of you who know David know how sweet he is) and when it is low he is just himself.. it is nice to have my child back but forgive me if I would like to keep him. He was all upset today because he was scared I was mad at him and he was afraid that I was going to lose my job. He is an okay kid.. I guess I didn't do too bad after all.. on to the next subject.
My basement is coming along quite nicely. My brother and David have finished framing and wiring and now they are starting on the walls.. I am happy about that. I have decided to put fake hardwood in the game room.. (i think) and carpet in the rest of the basement in carpet.. maybe the kids playroom in hardwood or something.. hell who knows.. but I am looking forward to the finished project so that we can put new windows in the sunroom.. that should be fun.. Okay next.
Work- okay nevermind, nothing to say about that. Next. Marriage- a waste of time.
Next- um, I guess that's it.. I will bitch more later.. I will be shocked if anyone even bothers to read my blog anymore..lol I wouldn't. Okay, I'm out.

Yes, I am alive.

2005-03-21T19:15:00.000-05:00

Hi there peeps.. I just have a few minutes in my semi busy life but I wanted to tell you all that I am still living. My son is much better. Normal blood sugar levels for five days as of tonight. I worked today. It was as much fun as I remembered it being. A co-worker that I had been informed 'could not stand me' informed me otherwize. If you blog, that was very thoughtful of you. I am glad that I have not done anything to offend you. It was nice to know that a couple of very good friends missed me at work. It was nice hanging with my girlies today. Even if it was in a place where none of us cared to be. Next quick subject- Rehab. They will be in Atlanta and I intend to see them there. Yup. I do. I am happy about that. What else?? I guess that's it. A lot of junk has been going on in my life but nothing I care to share at this point in time. Depression sucks but being a cry baby about it is a little worse I think. I am coming back out of my dark little corner to play with my friends for a while though and that is good. I am going to end this post by sending love to a couple of special people.. mom, I love you, I love that you love me back.. thank you for worrying about me and I am sorry for making you worry.. sis, I love you too.. your a very special lady and I am glad to be a part of your life.. I have missed you greatly.. chica's.. thank you for always being there no matter what.. even when I am a bitch.. hopefully that won't last long.. Okay I am out for now.. I will try to visit sooner than later.. ;)

Life is fun

2005-02-20T17:51:00.000-05:00

Hello all. To most of you I am about to ramble incessantly for the next few minutes.. you won't understand the meaning but you'll get the point.. so just hang in there or click on the x.. the choice is yours and I really don't give a fuck which you chose.
Have you ever thought you at least kind of knew someone to find out that you really didn't know them at all? Have you ever gotten an outside perspective on something only to find out that your a fucking idiot after all? Have you ever trusted someone and then found out that they were using you to benifit themselves? Today I feel like that idiot.. I just don't care anymore.. I am feeling a little lonely and depressed this weekend.. can you tell? Don't worry I will be as fake as ever at work tomorrow and none of you will ever know the difference so please do me the kindness of not even asking.. just pretend that you don't know anything about anything because really you don't and just act like all is well with the world.. I am looking forward to seeing my friends tomorrow.. I miss them.. silly isn't it? Anyway, looks like either my stalker is back or there is another idiot much like the first one out there.. Can't say I am really happy about that but I don't really give a fuck about that either. Whoever you are.. if you have a problem with me, I am willing to put it on the table and either work it out.. or take it outside.. just let me know. It would be my pleasure to end this once and for all. I know there are people out there who don't like me.. people I have wronged in a past life, or people who just don't like the way I look.. guess what?? I don't care. I really don't. I am sorry if I have done or said something to offend someone but I am only human and it happens. Anyway, I am going to go before I stick my foot in my mouth and really end up hurting someone's feelings..
I'm out.

This one's for you Wench

2005-02-16T17:29:00.000-05:00

Hi there.. a wonderful friend of mine want's an update on my life.. remember girl.. you asked for it ;)
Well today just kinda sucked. The best part about my day was doing two calls with Angela and sitting with my girlies this morning.. the rest of it just went to shit. Anyway, tomorrow is a whole new day.
The kids are out of school tomorrow, Friday and Monday so they are going to my mom's until Friday evening. I am going to be bored out of my mind so I am sure I will post more then. As for now I am going to go for a while. Wench.. I promise I will try to do better.. love ya girl!

I'm out.

Do I get an A now??

2005-02-08T17:21:00.000-05:00

So, a friend found a very creative way to let us know how our blogs were going.. I personally found it to be encouraging. So, here I am posting about my boring life once again. Let me begin by telling you all that if you don’t want to hear me talk about these boring things.. My new dog etc. then you should probably not read this.. It’s the little x in the top right corner of your screen.. Now, I’ll continue..

My dog.. His name is Noel, yes I said HIS. He is a German Shepard, Akita mix.. He is so very beautiful. His owners have had him since he was born and he’s four now.. They kept him inside and his owner loved him very much. His owners wife however grew tired of him and took him to the pound or the shelter or whatever.. They were going to put him to sleep because he had been there too long.. He is a big dog.. 100+ pounds, and they didn’t think anyone would want a dog like that and after a while they put them down.. Well it was getting close to his time so this very nice lady that does dog rescues heard about him and went and got him from the shelter.. So, I went to see him Sunday and when I got there and the girl brought him out he was beautiful. He loves me too.. That was a big plus since I am not a dog person and dogs don’t normally like me.. My oldest daughter loves dogs and she wanted one since I just got rid of the two that were here when we moved here. So anyway, he followed me around and I walked him, (he actually walked me) and when I thought about it I thought he was really too big, and used to being inside (he was so clean that he didn’t smell anything like a dog) and I just didn’t think I could have a dog in my house.. Well I went to leave and he was sad and stuff so I told her if he would get in my van I would take him.. She told me that he didn’t like riding and that she really had a hard time getting him in to bring him to the animal hospital.. They had to muzzle him and everything. So, I opened the back door to the van and said, ‘C’mon boy, let’s go home..’ and he jumped up in my van and here we are.. He stays inside.. Yes I now have a big inside dog.. He sleeps at the foot of my bed.. He cries when I leave in the morning and he waits for me to come home in the afternoon.. If I leave, he lays beside the door waiting for me to come home.. It’s really sweet and I don’t know what to think about it so I just accept it. I never thought I would have an inside dog but he’s like a big baby. He’s lying at my feet now. I love him.
Next, I am beginning to feel at home in my house now. The game room helps.. I really like the extra space.. I thought I would miss my old house more than I do but this one is growing on me.. We start construction on the down stairs next weekend.. Yay. I am happy bout all that work let me tell ya.
I guess I am done for now.. I would keep going on and on about things none of you care to read but I just don’t think I will tonight.. I think I am going to go upstairs and get ready to go eat some pizza.. Maybe I will bore you all again tomorrow.

I’m out.

P.S. To a special friend: I am already proud of you..

Another sucky day

2005-01-27T21:45:00.000-05:00

Well, today sucked. I had moments today that were good.. I had fun at the grocery store.. but that was it.. The rest of the day sucked. I had to fight with David.. God only knows how long it will last this time.. I am beginning to think that being married isn't worth all of this. I need a better job, that way I can afford to just be on my own and be by myself when I want too.. and not have to argue all the time. I just want to be happy.. is that too much to ask? I am worried about myself.. my self esteem is getting low.. I have been feeling so down lately.. I am gaining weight.. my hair looks like shit.. I am going to change that though.. I can't get all down.. Not to worry, I will be back to myself as soon as possible.

Sorry I haven't posted lately.. didn't figure you guys wanted me to bore you with my depression.. honestly I didn't feel the urge to feel sorry for myself either.. that's why I am keeping this one short as well..

To my peeps.. I love you all.

I'm out.

Happy Fucking Anniversary

2005-01-24T18:48:00.000-05:00

Well, it's been a long nine years. We've come through some hard times.. I just wish I could look at this and see what's happening.. where it's going, if I have wasted nine years of my life.. So anyway, here I sit all alone.. with my pink Kroger roses... and my $2.99 balloon.. I used to be happy with a flower picked from the freakin' yard.. but that was when I actually believed in that thing called 'love' Now I just think maybe it's something that man made up to get laid. Maybe this feeling we have inside when we start a relationship with someone we think we know is something.. but is it love? Can someone tell me what love is? Right now I am not sure.. not sure I care either. I am in one of my moods tonight.. you know, the kind where your damned if you do and damned if you don't. I just feel like I'm getting old and my life is not where it's supposed to be. Then again I am not sure where it is that it's supposed to be.. The thing is, I like being married, I like the 'married life' I like fixing dinner, doing homework, playing board games with the kids.. I mean sure, I like being grown and going out for a drink now and again, not too often.. I guess I really am getting old.. but I like the settled life.. I like it allot.. What I don't like is the comfortable phase.. the one we all get into after being together for a while.. the one where you have to stop and wonder if your even supposed to be together.. if your still as good in bed as you used to be.. if you still look just as cute in that little nighty you bought on your honeymoon.. if he comes in and takes a shower before he gives you a hug and you wonder if it's because he smells like another woman.. if he says he has a trip for work and you wonder where it is he is really going.. if he goes into another room to make a phone call and you wonder if you should pick up the phone and listen.. when he comes home from work three hours after his partner has gotten home to his family.. I mean.. who calls it quits here?? How do you know when enough is enough.. I mean sure, 'love'(the word turns my stomach) is important.. but so are those kids sleeping down the hall.. so is the house payment due on the first of every month.. I know some people who are going through these kinds of things now.. I know how hard it is.. I can't begin to tell you how well I know.. but isn't it easier in a way just to shut off your emotions and go through the routine we call life? Isn't it easier just to get up, go to work, tend to your kids, shower and go to bed at night.. eat when you need to eat, don't forget to breath and just take life one day at a time.. I am generally a happy person.. how important is 'love'? I am not unhappy with myself.. I am a good person.. I like me.. but life's a bitch. So, to all of you out there.. have a good night.. ignore my issues tonight and to some of you, I'll see you tomorrow..

I'm out.

Thank God for the weekend..

2005-01-22T13:11:00.000-05:00

So, here the weekend is. I hate that the weekend is so short. I am so happy when it gets here, then suddenly it's gone.. Oh well. At a friends request I decided to tell you all about a call I did the other day.. It was a call that Cynthia and I do regularly and it tends to be amusing from time to time. The thing is on a good day you might be able to understand a third of what these people are saying.. I have been cursed out so many times by these people and I still have no idea what they 'really' think of me.. This particular call is a call center in India.. sometimes they lead the call, sometimes we do.. I am always on the commline.. Cynthia loves me enough to let me do this.. On this call Ganesh is my commline buddy.. along with some woman who's name I can not pronounce, in Singapore. A little later Ravi Bob (who speaks English fairly well) gets on to be a go between.. so here we are listening to them chat and waiting for the call to end when Cynthia says.. 'hey there is some really bad noise coming from the speakers line.' So I inform Ravi Bob.. (say it out loud.. it's really funny.. and he says it fast too..) that the noise is coming from the speaker's line and he is in the process of yelling at everyone in the room with him.. he was trying to explain it to Ganesh.. he says.. 'We have a speakah phone and two turtle phones.. yes a speakah phone and to turtle phones.. DON'T TOUCH THE TURTLE PHONES.. ' I listen as he rambles on about the turtle phones.. then he starts yelling into the room again.. ' I SAID DON'T TOUCH THE TURTLE PHONES!!! STOP TOUCHING THE TURTLE PHONES!!' it's at around the 100th time he has said 'turtle phones' when I realize what he is actually saying.. here I sat wondering what in the hell a turtle phone was.. when all this time it wasn't a turtle phone at all.. and I swear to you.. he was saying turtle phone.. It was funny. The highlight of my day.
Okay. On to my newest adventure.. those of you close to me know what it is.. I would rather not type it today. It will make me think about it. Just know, I am doing well. Yes. I am still a huge bitch. But I haven't messed up once. On to the next subject, yes there is still a grave in my back yard. No, I have not moved yet. Yes my landlord has already rented my house to someone else. That's it. Now for my Friday drama.. My van broke. Yup. The only transportation I have, is broken. How in the hell can one person have so much freakin' drama?? I HATE DRAMA!!! Okay, I'm gonna stop rambling.. I know lately my blog has been boring.. sorry about that peeps.. It will get better.. Maybe I will start a story day and tell about when my life was more interesting.. for now though.. I'm out.

P.S. I have a special friend who may stop by to see my blog soon.. so to you.. you know who you are.. I love you very much. Thank you for putting up with me.. I will make it worth it for you I promise.

(for those of you who read the blogs just to gossip, that's not as juicy as it sounds but I understand if I am suddenly in the middle of some really hot affair with someone else's man or something.)

I see dead people..

2005-01-20T19:22:00.000-05:00

Okay, an update on what's going on at the Harrell residence. First of all, I will explain the topic. Bridgett, my ten year old, had a bird, the bird.. died. So, after going out to bury it and going to put a pretty rock on it the rock turned out to be a tombstone. So, after dusting it off really good I read it.. it was engraved beautifully.. Kathern Pilgrim.. it had dates that read, October 18,1957 and January 10,1958. A three month old baby girl. So, I think, this doesn't mean a dead baby girl is in my back yard, this couldn't mean that. Then, for the first time, I take a look around the tree I am standing beside. There is a small mound of dirt there, with little plants that had grown out of it over the year, it look perfectly shaped. It looked, like a grave. So, I freaked out a little. I am a calm person for the most part.. but this was very possibly a dead child in my back yard.. maybe fifty feet from my house. So, I did what anyone would do. I called my friends..lol They helped me to look for her online.. with no results.. Cynthia called the probate court on three way.. with no results.. We went to the library.. no results.. so, maybe there was no child.. so I call the historical society.. they think there was a child.. they think there is a child.. and they think she's in my back yard.. so they are going to find out.. I will deliver details as they come. Next, I am moving. Again. I don't want to move. I have to move. This is the deal in the movies, the one you can't refuse. It's a nice house.. this one is around about 2500 square feet, maybe not even that big.. (not that that's small, I have four kids though) and the new one is approximately 3500 square feet.. it's also ALLOT cheaper and we won't be renting.. sounds better right? It's close to here but I won't go into all that.. my stalker could possibly still read my blogg.. the kids will be in the same school district.. and I will still be close to the friends that I don't want to leave. Work is good. I had a blast today, one of the best day's at InterHell ever.. Most of my six thirty girls even stayed when we were allowed to leave.. go figure huh? I have a couple of special messages for some special people.. if I leave anyone out.. just know that I love you anyway..
Michelle, I love you girl(not in 'that' way either) .. I am proud of you.. and I am here if you need me.. You know I got your back no matter what decisions you make, that's what best friends are for.
Sarah, you were a trip today.. thanks for keeping us amused enough to earn that little bit more money today. Thanks for your help on 61.. and I hope your appointments go well tomorrow.. love ya girl
Cathy, I love you too sweetie.. just know that you are part of a family that loves you.. and I am not talking about your blood family I am talking about our family.. if you ever need to talk, don't think twice about it.. this is what having 'real' friends that love you is all about.. just know that I am here..
Angela, Your wonderful.. thank you for bringing me home today.. thank you for the laugh this afternoon.. the one right before we left work.. and I will keep all the rest of my thank you's to myself.. I don't want to ruin your rep..
Dan, Yes you.. Lurker. Thank you for reminding my slow ass to update my blog. Sometimes I have slacker issues.. even someone as close to being perfect as myself has there faults.. this is one of mine.. ;) Your a great addition to our group of friends.. even if you are a boy.. (haahaa)
Coopama, If I was gonna get stuck on a day.. hump day would be my choice.. maybe someday we'll get a chance to talk again..lol
Paige, You look very pretty lately (not that you weren't before) I hope life is being as good to you as it looks like it is.. happy looks good on you..
Lori, if I were you, I'd be friends with me..
okay, most important for tonight,
CYNTHIA-
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!! It's late.. but you know I love you girl. There are times that your words are my inspiration when I think there is none..

I'm out.

P.S. For those of you who stuck through to the end of this.. God you must be bored..

Another Day

2005-01-13T17:50:00.000-05:00

Well, I made it through another day. I am thankful for that. I went to the doctor yesterday. I really like him. I think this one might actually get to do surgery on me. On to other things, my son's blood sugar went to 558 today. Cynthia and I went to the school and picked him up. The doctor upped his dosage of insulin at night. Hopefully that will help. I can't take much more worry right now. I am moving again. I don't want too. The place I am moving to is just as nice as this one, it's a little more than twice the size, and it's allot cheaper. Maybe I can afford to live in it and live at the same time. I just don't want to go through the moving part. It's only about five minutes from my house now and the kids will be going to the same school so that's good. It has a fenced in back yard so Bridgett will be able to have her dog that she's been wanting. Her cat that we have had forever was hit by a car the other day and it broke her heart. She loves animals more than she loves people. I never have been a big animal person. Don't get me wrong, I like them fine, I just don't need anything else in my life to take care of.. sometimes I get tired of being the one to take care of everything, everyonce in a while I would really like to be taken care of. Oh well. The last couple of days I have been depressed. I hate it. I don't know what's wrong with me. My friends have asked because I guess they can tell but I can't tell them what's wrong with me when I am not sure myself. I am having battles within myself and sometimes I just feel like I am losing. I am always so tired now. I will be glad when the cancer is gone and I can get back to the active life I enjoyed before. Now going to the store makes me tired. I try to hide it, I think I do pretty well for the most part.. but lately I have started to let it show a little more than I would like. I am not sleeping well at night and getting up at five tends to make it worse.. but tomorrow is Friday and now the weekend is quickly approaching. Unfortunately I will be packing. Maybe I need a night out. David and I are having a rough time right now as well.. everything I do, including breathing, gets on his nerves lately. I keep trying to do what he wants me to, whatever it may be at the moment.. and it just doesn't help. I guess that's life though. It couldn't be good forever. I am sorry it's been so long since I have posted. My brother is staying with me and his computer was hooked up.. mine was having issues but I think we have them fixed now. I hope we do anyway. He spends more time on here than I do but he was on vacation. Now that he is back at work I get a little computer time. So, hopefully this will lead to more of my boring posts for you people to read. I am going to go get some reading done before bedtime.. I am on a Sidney Sheldon trip right now so I am going to read all of the books I have by him until I get bored with him and move on to someone new. Any suggestions?

I'm Out.

It's hump day!

2004-12-29T11:50:00.000-05:00

So here we are, the middle of the week and it's 11:51 and I am sitting here at this desk looking at the computer screen.. Some may ask, 'Why are you not at work?' other's realize InterHell is slow as fuck.. and it is. So here I sit.. bored. Tomorrow I think I will stay at work.. it's better to be bored and get paid.. the girls sat outside for about an hour after we got off and just chatted. Sarah came back to work today.. I guess she probably wanted to see if she could make someone sick with her germs.. how rude.. They started sending people home at 9:25 again today.. yeah, the paychecks gonna suck.. but when your there and they say you can go home.. you just wanna go.. so then you do.. and then you wonder why you do.. oh well. My plans to day are to sit here for a while.. then go to tan.. yes I tan in December.. is there a rule that says you can't be cute all year round? If there is.. I didn't get the memo.. then I am going to come home, shower.. then cook dinner and read a book.. then I'm gonna go to bed.. I have no shows tonight and I just really feel like being lazy. So I am. I am gonna quit boring you guys now..

I'm Out.

Monday's normally suck

2004-12-27T13:49:00.000-05:00

Today wasn't that bad though. Work was slow as hell but we kinda expected that. Several people were off today. It was quiet and it would have been boring had I not been sitting with some of my girlies talking our heads off. Then we all went to lunch together, a real lunch, so that was nice. I got five hours of doing nothing in so I can still get paid. That was good. Now I am home and a bit bored. Michelle and I start tanning today. It has been a while since I have been tan so I am looking forward to it. My sister (the one with the new boyfriend) called when she found out I was at home to update me on her situation. The husband is out of jail. He still hasn't said who it was he was stalking.. but he did tell her that he was going to do everything he can to ruin the new life she is building for herself. They started yelling at each other and the new boyfriend.. I guess since I think I like him we'll use his name.. Allan, took the phone from her and told Wade off.. that was good. Anitra didn't know how to react to someone sticking up for her besides me or mom. She's upset but happy at the same time. I am happy for her but I would love to kick Wade's crackheaded no good sorry ass about right now. Oh well.. Life's a bitch sometimes I guess. Anitra called me crying right after he called.. she has been going to church and it is helping her find some sort of peace. She is happier.. she is healthy.. her kids are happy.. and now he is back to destroy everything once again. He told her that he planned on going back to the church.. that if she brought Allan back there that it would make her look like trash.. WTF??? How are you going to do something like that.. if there is a hell.. he's going.. no doubt about it. Anyway, I think I may go take a nap.. a nap sounds good about right now. I will post again soon.. (notice that I am posting more often.. even if it is boring)

I'm out.

It's the day after

2004-12-26T17:06:00.000-05:00

All the mess is cleaned up.. leftovers are gone.. and I am tired as hell.. It was fun though. Not nearly as depressing as I had feared. Christmas Eve at mom's was fun. My baby sister never showed.. the first Christmas without her. I honestly wouldn't have even noticed exept for there was no one there to bitch about every single little thing.. My other little sister's husband was sick.. no great loss there let me tell you.. and my sister who has just gotten remarried and now looking for a good divorce lawyer brought her new boyfriend.. now, let me tell you, I was very sceptical about this one.. he looks different than anyone she has ever dated.. he kinda scared me a little.. Christmas Eve night he reminded me why you should never judge a book by it's cover.. he showed up and played Santa for all the kids.. he brought them all really cool gifts.. he cooked.. (I mean..hello) he gave my sister a two carat rock for her hand.. not an engagement ring mind you.. just a promise that if she gives him a chance he can show her what a real man is.. and he was GREAT. I was probably the most amazed by this because my parents kept telling me that he really was a good guy.. I am very happy about that. She deserves it. Santa came to my house about three a.m. and left some pretty cool toys for the kids.. I spent Saturday putting together things.. it was actually pretty fun.. I didn't change out of my p.j.'s until I took a shower and then I just changed into some clean p.j.'s.. that was nice. Today I had to go into town to buy a memory card for my son's new GameCube.. (why do children think they need every freakin kind of system there is?) Why Santa forgot to bring one is beyond me.. I had a pretty good Christmas myself.. I have lots of Christmas goodies, I have my Sweet Pea bath set and my Poison perfume that I really really wanted. I now have two pretty gold bracelets.. one with hearts (David gave me that one) and one with a star and a moon (my mom did that) I also got some really nice candle sets, and an oil lamp set that is cool as hell.. I just really got hooked up.. I can't even remember all of it.. I am more of a giver than a reciever so the best part was giving my mom a beautiful clock with Jesus on it that I knew she would love, and her favorite White Diamonds perfume.. it was nice.. and seeing the looks on my kids faces as they opened the gifts that they wanted was priceless.. I made them open them one at a time so I could take pictures.. up until the point where they were like.. mom, you have two rolls of pictures now.. can we just open the presents please.. so I felt guilty and let them go at it.. they even helped clean up.. it was fun.. the main gift they gave me was waiting until eight to wake me up.. that was sweet of them.. then of course they wanted breakfast so I had to go cook.. cereal is not a Christmas moring breakfast with these kids.. I can't wait until they are old enough to cook me Christmas breakfast..lol who am I kidding.. they are growing up too fast already.. I bought Bridgett (my oldest girl) a barbie and she's like 'mom, do you not think I am a little old for this'. Oops.. who knew.. Her favorite gift was her scooter and her pink pocket book.. okay then.. and I actually got out about six hundred dollars cheaper this year and they were thrilled.. so I wonder, why the hell do I spend so much money when this little stuff makes them so happy?? Anyway, I am going to quit boring you all now and go fix some dinner for the heathens..

I'm out.

My last post

2004-12-22T20:29:00.000-05:00

said it was me again.. I mean.. who the hell else would it be.. I just had to laugh at myself and thought I would share that with all of you lovely people in case you missed it so that you could laugh at me too.. I made my rounds.. I commented.. I had fun. Thanks.

I'm out
(for real this time)

Me Again

2004-12-22T19:45:00.000-05:00

Yes two days in a row.. Tonight is a special occasion.. I would like to welcome a new blogger to the group.. you know who you are.. and welcome.. we're glad you made it.. hope you have one hell of a good time.. we do.
Today wasn't that bad.. got some pretty coloring done.. hung out with my girlies and had a pretty good time.. then went home early and everything.. got a couple of issues resolved.. YAY ME!!! I am feeling rather happy tonight.. I am actually not dreading work tomorrow.. isn't that a great thing?
The kids should be here soon and I can't wait.. I miss those little monsters.. Katy got me an awesome Christmas present that I LOVE.. I am going to enjoy my bath tonight people let me tell ya.. (take that as you prefer.. who am I to crash those thoughts)
Since I am in a good mood I think I am going to be nice to my man tonight.. I may even cook.. I have been on strike.. now that everyone noticed they decided to help out a little more.. amazing what holding out on some good home cooking will do for people.. so now I am going to cook a quick meal and I may even take him a plate like the good old days.. as long as he don't get used to it all is well with the world..
Then I am going to go listen to some Rehab and a little Eagles and relax in the tub.. goodnight all.. C-you in the morning before any of us are really ready..

I'm out.

It's Tuesday people!

2004-12-21T17:43:00.000-05:00

Hey ya'll.. I am sitting here in my desk chair all by myself. No kids. No men. No nothin'. Just Brandy and the computer. It's kinda lonely but don't tell my kids that. I miss the hell out of them though. I am freakin' bored out of my mind. So, Christmas is near.. for all of you who weren't already aware of that I thought I would just help you all out. Aren't I sweet?? Did that not just sound a bit like a Sarah.. Anyway, today just sucked. From the time I sat down at work up until now. I was hoping to hang out with a friend of mine and complain to her a bit but she has her phone off.. or she's sending me to voice mail.. that would suck. It would go with the day though. I had a pretty green schedule today.. isn't that great?? All Christmasy and stuff.. those of you who work at Interhell know what that means.. those of you that don't.. just ignore the inside joke.. I have been way busy getting ready for Christmas. I am sure we all have.. and I am still not done.. Soon though.. soon. There is so much on my mind right now but it's things I need to keep to myself.. you know how the rumor mill is and there are way too many InterCall employee's who read the blogs now.. they have much more important things to talk about than Brandy drama.. Okay, I am going to catch up on my blog reading and I will post again another time.. hell if I get any more bored than I am now I may post again later.

Another freakin' day

2004-12-14T19:11:00.000-05:00

Well, today at Interhell wasn't horrible.. it wasn't good.. but it wasn't horrible.. I survived the day. Then I came home. It's not bad enough that I am having financial problems.. it's not bad enough that I have to worry about Christmas for the kids.. I came home today and no sooner than I walked in the door did my kids slam me with.. hey grandpa's in the hospital mom.. so yet another issue to be dealt with. I am gonna go think I just wanted every one to know I was alive.

Okay I am a slacker

2004-12-01T21:56:00.000-05:00

Well friends.. I am apologizing for becoming one of those ~hey I am going to post more often bloggers~ I have just had a crazy life lately. It will get better though.. soon. I promise to try to post at the very least once a week. Some of you may have to nudge me a little but I'll get there I promise.
Anyway, the latest on my stalker is.. well as you can see they ran away.. and the detective handling my case is slack.. so, my mom has made a suggestion that I will probably make use of. More about that later. I am planning to persue this issue. If I knew who it was I might let it go but I don't so I can't. This person got out of hand and then they tucked their tail and ran.. they hated me enough to play with my life but they were to much of a coward to do it to my face. Now I feel like I need to take care of it. So I am.
Next, my sister's life has gotten a little more difficult. Wade is gone.. everyone knows that.. and she is okay with it.. Recently a friend that has been a very close friend of hers for ten years or so had come back into her life. They were getting to be very close again and she finally had someone to talk too. I have known this girl since we were about fifteen and I was very glad to see my sister reforming a friendship that Wade did everything in his power to destroy. Well, Thanksgiving Sarah(the friend) came over to eat with our family. She stayed at my mom's doing my daughter's hair until about two in the morning. She had been really depressed and being there lifted her spirits. So, she came back on Friday and stayed until about two a.m. again.. she had all four of her kids with her and they had piled up in the bedroom and went to sleep and her and my sister had stayed up talking for hours. Sarah left and took her babies home and put them to bed. The next morning my sister recieved a phone call from Sarah's husband telling her Sarah had passed away the night before. My sister thought he was playing a cruel joke on her because he didn't want her being friends with Sarah so she told him what a creep he was for doing that and hung up the phone. After thinking about it for a few hours she decided to call Sarah's husband back and tell him that she would just stop hanging out with Sarah if it was that important to him. She didn't want to cause them problems in their relationship. He told her that he was wrong for ever feeling that way.. but it didn't matter anymore because she really was dead. So she gets off the phone with him still thinking that he is just being an ass because only hours before she had been with her friend. So, she picks up the phone book and calls one of the two most 'popular' funeral homes in the area. The first one she calls confirms the death of her beloved friend. At 26 years old, Sarah had died in her sleep. Possibly of a accidental overdose on her pain medication. My sister was devistated. She still is. The poor girl has had enough already. She keeps blaming herself because she is afraid that Sarah was in pain from over doing it helping her with the kids. She left behind four children.. one of them is a year old and he was still breast feeding.. So, those of you that pray.. keep her in your prayers.. those of you that don't.. keep her in your thoughts.. if nothing else.. hold your loved ones a little closer to you.. call your mom, send flowers to your sister.. tell your friends how important they are to you.. they may not know..
I for one hold my kids just a little tighter when they kiss me goodnight.. and now I want to tell all of you that are my friends how much I appreciate having you in my life.. before I went back to work I didn't have any friends.. I didn't think I was missing anything.. boy was I wrong.. and that's not easy for me to admit.. but I was. Having you all makes my days a little easier to get through. My life is a little more dramatic now than it used to be.. but what the hell.. it keeps it interesting. Now, I am going to go to bed.. but first.. Michelle, if you ever make your way back to read this.. I hope your feeling much better.

I'm out.

Today was a pretty good day

2004-11-10T16:31:00.000-05:00

Hi all. I was sitting here thinking and decided to get online and post to my blog before people start thinking that I dropped off the face of the earth.. no that would not do at all.. so here I am. Today was one of the better days at InterCall. I skipped lunch so I could leave with Michelle and let me tell you.. the more I get to know her, the more I like her. She reminds me allot of me. It's nice to have friends (real friends) so I am grateful to InterCall for that. I have met some really wonderful people and I don't even want to imagine my life without them. Those of you reading this that know you are one of those.. thank you. I also found out today that there are really some great people left in this world.. people who think not of what they gain by doing something.. but doing something just because they feel that it's right. That is rare these days. I think that I could come to like going to work. Okay, I won't get carried away.. but I think I could at least learn to not hate going to that place. Off of the work subject now.. let me complain about something else really quick.. Yesterday I found out that my sons medicade was canceled. YAY. I was not happy about that.. I would have taken it a little better if it wasn't when I was picking up my sons medication for this month. When they brought it to the counter and said.. 'That will be five hundred and sixty four dollars and seventeen cents.' I really thought I was going to pass out.. so I asked about the medicade and they informed me that it would not go through. So I told them I would be back to get it so keep it ready for me and went home to call DFCS.. they informed me that due to my pay raise his medicade had been canceled.. I mean HELLO.. I work at INTERCALL.. freakin idiots.. so anyway I have an appointment Monday to get that taken care of and I will not stress about it until then. Next subject: my wonderful cyber stalker. I know just about everyone knows what I have done about this issue.. for those of you concerned that I will let my heart overtake my head and let this situation go.. I can promise you that I will not. This situation will be resolved. Next subject: my sisters. Well, three weeks ago my sister remarried the father of her children. She was pretty sure he had changed and he got her a really nice place to live, was working with the Church pastor.. was doing everything that he should have done a long time ago.. so when the pastor talked them in to getting married she finally gave in.. Bad move. Saturday night he went to work with an old aquaintance of his and didn't come home Saturday or Sunday night. He comes wandering in early Monday morning to get ready for work to find all of his stuff outside on the porch. So, he tells her that he was off doing drugs all weekend and everyone makes mistakes so she needed to get over it. (not) He goes to work and his boss is not there so he just starts working.. well, the bossman comes in and see's him and calls him into the office. He asks him where he was all weekend and my brother-in-law informs him that it is none of his business what he does in his off time.. so he tells him that he is going to have to let him go. He gave him the job because he was doing well and taking care of his family.. if he wasn't going to do that then he needed to find drug money somewhere else. He hasn't been home or called since. His daughter's weren't even upset. That's sad. Now, my baby sister (age 20) went home to my mother's on Friday. She finally left her boyfriend who has been beating on her for the past two years after he wrapped a phone cord around her neck and tried to choke her. Well she did really good for five days before she told mom that she was going to Newnan with her friend and didn't come back. She did call and let them know she wasn't coming home at about ten last night. This is the second time she has left her daughter. Lindsey hasn't even noticed that she is gone yet.. I have to admit that it was nice having her around again.. but it also reminded me of who she really is.. she had called her boyfriend and told him that my mother was keeping her drugged and wouldn't let her leave... I don't guess she'll ever change. She asked mom if she could still see Lindsey.. mom told her that she hasn't hardly seen the child for the past three years.. she told her that it isn't good for Lindsey to have her come in and out of her life.. that she couldn't do drugs around Lindsey and that unless she took her to court and got really lucky that she would never see Lindsey unsupervised. So my sister said oh well and hung up the phone.. really cares doesn't she? How do you just willingly leave your child? For a man? I don't get it. So, that's what's been going on lately. I am going to go now. I will try to post about my boring life more regularly.

I'm out.

Today was an okay day

2004-11-05T17:11:00.000-05:00

Hi all. I had to leave work early today to tend to my son. He is having some serious blood sugar issues that are worrying me. I am sure he will be okay but seeing that he is my child I still worry. It is really not good for him to go that high. I just worry that he is eating candy with the kids at school and it is bothering me but what can I do? I buy him sugar free candy and try to make up for the things he can't have but he is still a kid. How do you say, nah, I'd rather have this delicious piece of sugar free candy instead of that hershey bar you have there.. I mean, whatever. I had a talk with him today and he said that he would try to do better. I got on here and showed him some things that can happen to you if you don't take care of yourself when you are a diabetic and he really paid attention. I hope he was listening. I mean 'really' listening. It scares me that so many juvinile diabetics die so young. It scares the hell out of me. I want him to take it seriously. I hope he does. Anyway, I will write more later. I need to bitch. Not right now though, I'm not ready.

I'm out.

I'm Sorry

2004-11-03T15:46:00.000-05:00

I have been really slack lately. A wonderful friend of mine pointed it out to me today so here I am.. posting and stuff. Work sucked today. I didn't enjoy it. It was better than yesterday.. but it still sucked. I got to chat with some of my friends today though.. I haven't gotten to talk to some of them very much lately so that was nice.. tomorrow will be better. Friday will be even a little better.. and then Saturday will be here and I can catch up on some of the sleep I have been missing. Today is my baby girls 6th birthday!! She is really happy. Her party went okay.. there were tons of children running wildly through my house.. it's funny how my idea of a party has changed over the years. My haunted trail wasn't anywhere near what I wanted but it was good.. thanks to Cynthia and Josh.. we couldn't have pulled it off without them. Thanks guys. Next year will be better.. if Josh is not to grown to help out. :) So, my stalker likes to be funny. I am sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that they were not at my party on Saturday.. they would like for me to worry like that but it ain't gonna happen. The people who were here from work were my friends. My 'real' friends. So you've got to do better than that. Your really boring. That explains the lack of something better to do. Anyway, I will be back. More regularly than I have been. I missed it a little.

I'm out.

Saturday of work

2004-10-23T17:44:00.000-05:00

Well today I cleaned. Allot. It was not fun. My house looks good though, I got almost all of the boxes that mom has brought over to the house unpacked. Now I am making cupcakes and David should be here soon with some pumpkins we plan to carve with the children. Hopefully it won't rain and ruin it. It's a little windy out tonight so hot chocolate and pumpkin carving on the deck sounds like a good plan. I have most of my decorations for in the house up. Tomorrow after church I am going to work on the trail. I cracked a couple of my nails already.. darn it. So now I have to make time to go back to the freakin nail place this week.. yay. Sarah and Beckah came over this morning and hung out with me for a little bit. I think both of them were still a little drunk from drinking too much last night. The girls went to a slumber party last night and they didn't come home until four or so today so I had plenty of cleaning time. They had allot of fun. David, little David and my brother David and I all went out to eat Chinese last night while all of the girls were gone. It was weird without my girlies though.. and Chey got mad at me when she found out I went without her. The guy I bought my dryer from is going to replace it tomorrow.. thank goodness.. four kids.. no dryer.. that's code for hell.. trust me. My little brother is spending the night again.. he's such a good kid.. I love it when he spends the weekend with us.. keeps David and Bridgett from fighting all weekend.. that's their favorite thing to do. I don't really know why.. I don't remember ever fighting with my brother like that. Oh well.. might as well get used to it I guess. Well it's time to get the cupcakes out. I'll try to post tomorrow. Have a good night peeps.

Well well well

2004-10-21T17:14:00.000-05:00

Gee.. impressive.. my stalker knows my full name.. anyway, for those of you that I told I was going to let this go.. I guess that's not going to happen and I will just have to deal with my feelings about it. No matter how cruel this ignorant bastard is, everyone has someone that loves them, and I hate hurting innocent people. I just can't not do anything when someone is doing things like this creature has done. Those of you who have really been there for me, when this goes down, I will need you then more than ever. I have even had to tell my older two kids about this because it was not something they weren't seeing. They think I shouldn't give up on finding them and seeing them punished. I guess if they see that I should as well. Now on to more important things.

My life has been very busy lately. I have had allot going on. My kids just keep growing up on me.. Bridgett (the oldest girl) gets prettier every day.. they all do, but she is really coming into her beauty now.. she has always been a beautiful child but now I am getting a glimps at what she will look like in a few years.. and let me be honest, it scares the hell out of me. I want her to be as kind as she is now.. I want her to live a happy life and skip all of the mistakes I made, but I know that she wont. So, I will deal with it when the time comes. David doesn't want to be in scouts anymore because I am not there. I am going to try to get him involved in something else. Who knows, maybe I can. Maybe he will enjoy it more than scouts.. but I doubt it. Lacey was on the front page of the paper. Cheyenne, my BABY, will be in two weeks.. wow. Rueben, one of my very bestest friends husbands is fixing my car.. He is a designated brother for life now.. lol That stupid car has been sitting up 4- freakin' ever. So a HUGE THANK YOU to Rueben.. you da' man! Okay, now to my bitch session.

WORK SUCKS.. today was a pain.. all my girls were in bitch mode today.. and I was right there with them.. somewhere near the front of the line by the end of the day. First I had a call on 61, I hate doing calls over there, then it didn't go down at the right time so I had to go to lunch late.. (don't they know not to mess with a girls food??) Then I had to come back from lunch early so I had to eat fast and it made me sick. Then I had a call go bad on 59, then I had a call added when I got over to set a call up after my call on 59.. the one I was added too was a comm line, with an operator that I work really well with, but with this there was no way I could do both calls.. I set the other call up and got it ready to go, then found out they moved it off of my schedule.. then the clock ticked very very slowly by until finally I got to leave. Now I am home.. so all is a little better.. then I get online, and well, you all know the rest. So now I am going to catch up on my blog surfing then I am going to get a shower and go to bed.

I missed you all.. or most of you anyway ;)

Looks like my 'stalker' got bored

2004-10-13T17:41:00.000-05:00

So maybe now I can post about other stuff. I still can't let it go. If you're out there, and you're still reading, I still can't get into my messenger, I have important contacts in there, so I really can't just let this go.

On to more important issues, I went and had my nails done today, they are black and orange. I haven't decided if I like them or not, yet. I'll have to get back with ya on that. I also got my hair cut, only about two and a half inches so that I can stop sitting on it. It was starting to look bad anyway. My kids are going to church tonight; they invited a few friends from the neighborhood. I made my son think that I am mean and I am not sure if I done the right thing or not. He wanted to go to church with a kid that lives next door to me. Well, I don't know this kid's parents, or the church he goes to and that was enough of a reason for me, but with him being diabetic, what if something happened to him? I just can't do it. He told me that he wanted to be just like every other 'pre-teen'. I told him that I am not trying to keep him from being like all of the other kids, I am just trying to keep him healthy and safe. I came way too close to losing him before. I can't do it again. So, he went to his church and they went to theirs and I am the meanest mom on the block right now. Ya know what though?? My son is safe. To me, that's what matters. I try hard to be a 'cool' mom. I guess my definiton of that and theirs are different. Their friends all love me, I hear them all the time saying, 'Wow, I wish she was my mom.' It makes me feel good when my kids brag about me.. I guess the biggest part of that is that they are good kids. They are kids, don't get me wrong about that, but they are good kids. Anyway, I am going now. I have some thinking to do.

I'm out.

Hey peeps

2004-10-12T18:11:00.000-05:00

So, what's done is done. Anyway, I just wanted to make some of you aware that I have been doing some research, and one of the people that some of you highly suspected is an innocent person. Hopefully those of you who thought it was this person know who I am talking about. I think I learn more about this person every day. As I suspected they did not 'come out' at work today. I am sure it will have to be done the hard way. Which is okay with me. Anyway, I need to go finish dinner so I will post again another day.

Tuesday

2004-10-12T16:00:00.000-05:00

So, today was good. I went to work. Came home. That's about it. My daughter's picture was in the paper yesterday :) I was happy about that. I have beautiful children. My five year old has picked out six Halloween costumes for her birthday party. She is too cute. I told her she only had to pick one, she pointed out to me that 'stars' change clothes several times in one day, and someday she is going to be a 'star' . I told her that she was already my star, but until she learned how to do laundry she would be changing clothes in the morning, and after her shower, and that was it. She laughed and said yes ma'am. I think she handled it quite well. My girls were very upset last night when the church canceled choir practice. All of my daughters want to sing when they grow up. I bought Bridgett (the oldest girl) a karaoke machine for Christmas last year and had to buy two additional microphones. I don't know what I would do without my babies. In church Sunday morning the pastor asked Cheyenne (my baby) why we pray for bad people. Her response to that was 'so they will stop getting on our nerves'. Sometimes I ask my self the 'Am I a good mother' question. My son let me know that I am. He met a little boy at cubscouts and I finally gave him permission to have him over yesterday. Well the little boy told David a little about his home life and when he left David sat down with me and told me that he thought we should help this little boy. I asked him how would he suggest we do that and he told me that he wanted to think some more about it and talk to me about it when he got done. Well honestly I had forgotten about this conversation with all that has been going on in my life and today he reminded me. He had gotten together some food from our pantry and some of his toys and clothes and all $27.00 of his allowance. He asked me if I could drive him over to give them to this child. I had to explain to him that we couldn't just do that because I don't know the childs parents very well and his eyes filled up with tears. Keep in mind that my son will soon be twelve and the fact that this disturbed him so deeply really had an astounding effect on me. I asked him why this particular childs situation disturbed him to the lengths that it did and he told me a chilling story of the abuse this child has informed my son of. So after thinking over it for the past little bit I have decided that this sweet little withdrawn boy could very well be the victim of abuse. Having been abused myself I decided that when I go to turn in my resignation tonight I will inform the leaders of my scout group of this chilling story and let them handle it. I no longer hold the power to do anything about it so I am going to do what I can and then leave it to them. I trust that they will take care of the issue. Anyway, all said and done it is time for me to go make my last appearance at a scout leader meeting and move on with my life. I can't lie and say it won't hurt me. That's not my style. I can say that I will not let it keep me down. Perhaps something better awaits me at the end of this tunnel.. who knows. Anyway if I get home in time I will post about my evening. Although I am sure my rambling doesn't mean as much to my readers as it does to me to get it off of my chest, Thank you for reading.

Monday, again.

2004-10-11T09:25:00.000-05:00

I hate Mondays. My kids are out of school today and I don't have a baby sitter so I am home with them. I cleaned my house and took a shower and now I am bored out of my mind and thinking too much. I have phone calls to make today and issues to resolve before I go insane.. It would be hard to raise four kids if I were to lose what little sanity I have left so I just have to make sure I keep it together. My 'stalker' added me to their messenger today, and then they signed on my messenger and tried to kick me off.. so it is either a second shift person or someone who can get online while they are at work. Maybe I am wrong but I should know for sure within a short length of time. I am honestly not sure I want to know at this point but it has gone too far for me to just let it go. I just know that it is hard for me to trust people and it will really hurt if this person is one of my friends. It would be bad enough if it were just my work life but now that it is envolving my home life I can't keep doing it. My 'stalker' talked to me today, at 10:41 am she claims that she is going to tell everyone who she is tomorrow. She claims not to have sent a letter to my scout master but I don't believe that. Naturally she said she didn't care if I believed her or not that she didn't mess with people's kids, just adults that were easy targets. What she fails to realize is that she has messed with my kids in more ways than one, I can't even let them get online anymore. It's just gone to the extreme. I am not so sure that it is even a she anymore. Who ever it is they were smart. They just pushed too far and weren't quite smart enough. Anyway, I am going to play with my kids now. Talk to you all soon.

The Real Mystix

How much is too much?

2004-10-10T19:16:00.000-05:00

Okay, I am sorry to you all for bitching so much lately but let me just tell you how sick and tired I am getting of all this bullshit. Now, here is the update on my stalker. I sit down at my computer today to find out that she has been pretending to be me, therefore we have a motive. This silly bitch thinks she wants to be me. Guess fucking what.. not happening. I had decided that a little bit of head game playing was something that I could let go of and just get on with my life since it was so junior high. Now, things have taken on a new light. As most of you know I am the Committee Chair person for my sons scout group. My son is a juvenile diabetic and he can't go on scouting trips or anything else without a parent so I decided I would do something worth while since I was going to be there anyway. This was time we spent together and really enjoyed. Well I got a call today asking me to resign until I got my issues resolved. Turns out they have recieved a confidential email from someone who was telling them some unsatisfactory stuff about me. I already know that this was my hacker. They emailed my Troup Leader directly. They had to have gotten it from my address book. I haven't told my son yet, how do you tell an eleven year old that someone hates their mother so badly that they are doing what they can to turn her life into utter chaos? How do you explain it when you don't understand it yourself? I am having a hard time thinking of my stalker as a person. How can a person not have feelings? How can they not have a heart or a concience?? How can they try to wreck someones life that they don't even really know? Can someone, anyone explain it to me? I have to find this person now. I have to find out what I did that was so horrible that they want to do this to me. I will. Not a doubt in my mind. This has gone to far.

hahahaha

2004-10-10T03:39:00.000-05:00

you need to find out who your real friends are at work trust me not all of us are your real friends i'm around you all the time and you'd never know it would ya!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love you guys!!!!!!!!!

It's Saturday

2004-10-09T09:34:00.000-05:00

Hey people, we finally made it to Saturday. This morning the alarm went off because I forgot to make sure it wasn't set when I went to bed, and I actually got up, went to the bathroom, and brushed my teeth before I realized it wasn't a work day. I hate getting up early. I find that it isn't quite as bad when you can go back to bed. Anyway, I have big plans for today. I have to get a new tire for my van. I have to go to Sarah's little girls birthday party at one, and then my cousins birthday party at two. Good thing they are at the same place. So, all of you have a wonderful day, and I will post about my fun filled family outing when I get home.

I'm out.

Had a pretty good night

2004-10-08T18:46:00.000-05:00

I am feeling pretty good tonight.. I don't know why, I just am. I think it has a pretty good bit to do with the fact that I was really upset that someone was angry enough at me to do what my 'stalker' is doing, and then I found out that I really do have some pretty freakin wonderful friends. Some of them I already knew how wonderful they were, even if I don't tell them enough how much I appreciate them, I think they know. Some of them are new found kindred spirits.. It took me a while to find them but it makes me happy that I did. Okay Peeps.. time for me to go watch a movie with the family.. I'll post again tomorrow.. yes I said tomorrow.. or at least I will if my blog don't get deleted..lol

Hope you all have a wonderful Friday night..

I'm BACK

2004-10-08T16:18:00.000-05:00

Stupid fucker(s). Thought deleting my blog would get rid of me. Guess what?? Didn't work out that way did it?? See the thing is, my lovely friend, you know that it won't be long now. Keep me busy posting new blogs because your dumb ass found a way to delete mine. That's okay, I will still find out who you are. I get closer every minute. I found out some very useful information today.. keep being stupid, I appreciate it. P.S. "Sweetness my ass more like asshole you pathetic loser," says Sarah.

Okay now for all of you who read my blog because you like me, thanks to you all for your support. I will post some about my life later.. right now I am just a little pissed off about this stupid shit.